How to Be a Footballer PDF/EPUB ↠ How to ePUB

Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year'Very funny on almost every page wonderfully self deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' Metro Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans You become a footballer because you love football And then you are a footballer and you’re suddenly in the strangest most baffling world of all A world where one team mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top hat cane and glasses without any actual glass in them and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plateSo walk with me into the dressing room to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower gel and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror We will go into post match interviews make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisionsI am Peter Crouch This is How To Be A Footballer Shall we?Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 LiveWinner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year'Very funny on almost every page wonderfully self deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' Metro Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans You become a footballer because you love football And then you are a footballer and you’re suddenly in the strangest most baffling world of all A world where one team mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top hat cane and glasses without any actual glass in them and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plateSo walk with me into the dressing room to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower gel and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror We will go into post match interviews make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisionsI am Peter Crouch This is How To Be A Footballer Shall we?Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 LiveWinner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year'Very funny on almost every page wonderfully self deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' Metro Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans You become a footballer because you love football And then you are a footballer and you’re suddenly in the strangest most baffling world of all A world where one team mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top hat cane and glasses without any actual glass in them and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plateSo walk with me into the dressing room to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower gel and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror We will go into post match interviews make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisionsI am Peter Crouch This is How To Be A Footballer Shall we?Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live


13 thoughts on “How to Be a Footballer

  1. says:

    I don't usually review the books I've read on but I read this book on the plane on the way back from a holiday in Canada and I was actually weeping with suppressed laughter much to the consternation of the person sitting next to me who I think was slightly worried that I might be having some sort of mental health episodeA small masterpiece and one of the best books about football I've ever read and I have read many